There’s a vein in my neck that’s jumping like a scared rabbit, and I keep realizing I’ve stopped breathing when I’m thinking about today.
My excitement is unparalleled.
When “nuh-uh!” is not an acceptable response.
It is totally an acceptable response like, all the time.
I say things like, “this is your last chance to tell me if you want me to bring anything”, kind of jokingly because he lives down the damn street from me.
And then he says things like, “bring lube and your favorite plug”, and I’m pretty sure he did that JUST to make my heart stutter.
In other news, I’m in Portland, and I’m really glad to be home.
Today today today todayyyyyyyyyyy is the day we have been waiting for! We’re all skipping work and school and going on a big super fun adventure and I can’t waiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!
is the day I return to Portland!
And then TOMORROW:
there will be sex and promises fulfilled!
This bunny is how I feel round and round and round because my last month in Portland is promises to be full of big, scary, fun, sexy adventures.
|society:||oh you have your period? well you have two options.|
|society:||you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.|
|woman:||sounds awful. what's my second option.|
|society:||a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.|
|woman:||still seems pretty awful.|
|society:||wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!|
|woman:||well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.|
|society:||HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.|
|society:||oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.|
|woman:||i think i'll go with my third option.|
|society:||what third option?|
|woman:||i think i'll bleed on everything you love.|
|me at home:||i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it|
|me going away:||I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN|